10 things that helped me heal from therapy abuse
Plain and simple, therapy abuse is hell. I have overcome a lot of adversities in my life, but I can firmly, unequivocally say that I have never known a hurt as bad as therapy abuse. The betrayal is an absolute soul murder that robs you of progress made in therapy, the ability to trust others, time from loved ones, time from friends, time from work, even your health and money, and so much more.
With that being said, you can heal from therapy abuse. I remember days when I worried that I would never be able to have a single day again in my life without thinking about the abuse I endured and feeling an absolute despair. I am happy to say that I have finally reached a point in my life where the abuse I endured does not and cannot hold that much weight over me anymore. I am not in despair. I am empowered. I am happy. I have taken back all that was robbed from me. I am stronger than ever, and my goal is to give other victims hope that they can and will survive. And surviving can be more than just getting by - it can be thriving!
I recognize that everyone is different. What worked for me, may not work for everyone, but these are the 10 things that helped me survive and thrive:
I stayed busy. Whatever it takes to stay busy, do it. Start a blog, start a massive project, volunteer, start a business, etc.
I sought follow-up therapy with a trauma therapist, and took some power over my own treatment. What happens in therapy abuse is an abuse of power, so it’s imperative that you speak up for yourself if you don’t agree with something that your therapist says or does. Tell your therapist what suggestions or language are re-traumatizing. A good therapist can navigate this and won’t be threatened by it, and when you are able to have these honest conversations with your therapist and your therapist respects what you are saying or asking, a reparative event occurs. I mean that it’s reparative in the sense that the actual moment is repaired, but it’s also reparative in a relationship, subliminal, how-you-rebuild-trust-in-this-word kind of way. It has broader effects than just the one event.
I chose to take a low-dose of Prozac, which helps with both depression and OCD tendencies. It is very common for victims of therapy abuse to be overwhelmed by intrusive, obsessive thoughts about the abusing therapist or the abusive events. Surrendering and choosing the medication definitely helped me be less consumed with thoughts about the trauma and my mood lifted.
I continue to stand up against the abusive therapist. Not everyone understands this, but I’m always going to be a fighter. I have slowly tried a variety of options for seeking appropriate consequences for my abusive therapist, and I will continue until I exhaust all options. At the end of the day, I worry about his other potential victims, and I want to be able to say that I did everything that was in my power.
I faced and accepted the reality that my abusive therapist never really cared about me and never will. He will never show remorse or apologize. And even if he tried, nothing he says can be trusted at this point. This was a hard one and it took a lot of time to do this, but once this switch flips, you really open the door for continued growth and healing.
Knowing my worth and accepting nothing less. I’m worth more than being sexually harassed and being groomed to be used for sex without true psychological consent. I am a human, and I have way more than that to offer this world.
Knowing my truth, regardless of who stands beside him.
I sought marriage counseling for the damage that therapy abuse did to my marriage.
I found a support group of other therapy abuse victims, and hearing their stories helps me stay grounded in my realities.
Most importantly, healing just took a lot of time. Be patient with yourself. The process of healing from this kind of trauma cannot be rushed, and we do not have the luxury of choosing the timeline. Check out this blog post about “choosing” healing.
Much love to my fellow survivors and victims! Hold your hope. You will find your switch!
