Hi. I am a survivor of therapy abuse.
My Goal
My goal is to provide help and resources to others and to do so mostly through written content and helpful links, both of which can be accessed on this website. Readers can also email me at hello@survivingtherapyabuse.org. I will try my best to respond to emails, but I cannot guarantee that I will always be able to respond, as I run this website strictly on a volunteer bases. If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 911 or drive to the nearest emergency room. If you need help but are not at risk for suicide or self harm, please click the “Get Help” button in the top, right corner of this website to explore other options for seeking help.
My Limitations
I am survivor of therapy abuse, and I am passionate about helping other victims on their journey to recovery, helping others (colleagues, attorneys, subsequent treating therapists, etc) understand therapy abuse, and educate victims on their options for reporting abuse. With that being said, I have many limitations that you should be aware of:
I am not a psychotherapist or counselor and I never provide these types of services.
I am not an attorney or a licensing board specialist. I can explain my own experience and share well known advice but an attorney would better serve you for your own case.
If you believe that you are a victim of therapy abuse, please seek legal advice as soon as possible before confronting your therapist/counselor.
I do not collect money, make money, or run any kind of budget whatsoever. This means that I am not able to financially assist any victim in any way, shape, or form.
My Story
In 2013, I was 30 years-old, I was a new mother, and I was working in a prestigious, high-pressure job. I was a young professional, a perfectionist, and a high achiever. I also didn’t want to let anyone down - I was a people pleaser. This resulted in a lot of anxiety, so I took advantage of a program that my employer offered and sought free on-sight, counseling services. I was paired with Dr. C. I saw him sporadically for over 3 years through this program, and I found his services to be helpful.
Coincidentally, we both moved on from this mutual employer at about the same time. (I later learned that Dr. C had been demoted and then forced to leave his position.) . Not knowing that Dr. C had exhibited questionable behavior and had been forced to leave his job, I agreed to continue therapy with him at his new place of employment. He was now working at a private practice where he had a lot more freedom and autonomy. It was here that his behavior changed.
Dr. C began making sexual comments and sexual jokes that were only tangentially relevant to our conversations. Initially, the comments were minor but it made me feel uncomfortable. At the same time, I had already worked with him for such a long time, and I had already developed tremendous trust in him. Just walking away seemed very difficult, and I worried that it would have been an overreaction. I even protested in response to one of his sexual jokes, and he responded in a way that made me feel that I was wrong for not being able to take the joke. It wasn’t until later that I realized that he was slowly grooming me to accept more and more of his sexual boundary violations, among other boundary violations. He also attempted to “butter me up” or make me feel extra special, and then he would contrast this with pointing out how other people in my life have neglected to notice me. He suggested that we initiate a dual relationship by inviting me to consider leasing office space from his boss, meaning we would be working in the same office building and seeing each other in the common spaces of the building. Boundaries and lines were blurred and I began to feel a strange attachment to Dr. C; although, I was also afraid of him as well. I sometimes feared he would sexually assault me, since he was frequently the only provider in the building while working with me.
After sometime, my confusion and discomfort with the situation grew. I called Dr. C and confronted him about his behavior. I explained to him that I believed he was attempting to sexually exploit me and it appeared that he had romantic interests in me. Of course, being the abuser that he is, he blamed me, denied everything, lied, and tried to manipulate me. He did not own any responsibility for his behavior. He did not show - and likely has no ability to have - any remorse or regret for his unethical and harmful behavior.
I felt very alone, confused, and completely and utterly betrayed. Despite surviving a traumatic and chaotic childhood, no person on this earth has ever hurt me or let me down as much as Dr. C did. I was scared to tell my story. I was afraid to get help from someone else. I was worried that I would not be believed. After a few weeks, I did seek counseling from another provider, but I saw her regularly for nearly 6 months before I opened my mouth about the real reason I was there - Dr. C. I finally told her everything, and she believed me. For that, I will forever be grateful. This opened the door for me to begin the process of reporting Dr. C’s unethical behavior and begin healing. Healing was not easy, it took a lot of time, and a lot of hard work - I share more details about this in the blog section of this website. But most importantly, healing did happen for me and it can happen for you too. There is hope!